I had regarded arranged marriage as more successful than love marriage because arranged marriages were the general practice during my time. However, as I grew older, I realized that many arranged marriages that I witnessed were unhappy but still lasted long. The length of a marriage might not be indicative of its happiness. A happy marriage is defined by the right partner, effective communication, and genuine companionship.
When it comes to Indian weddings, it is fancy. One can see costly venues, beautiful decorations, and all the pomp associated with mass gatherings.
Most guests are invited as a formality rather than out of genuine respect and closeness. Instead of counting the guest list to assess whether a wedding is successful, couples should consider limiting their celebration to immediate family members, trusted friends, and relatives. The straight fact is that marriage itself should be paid more attention compared to the wedding. Spending too much on a single day can leave a couple in debt as they start a new life together after the wedding. Instead, that money can help them in the establishment of their household, purchase of essential furniture, or later expenses of starting a family.
The BBC Formula for Choosing a Partner
I believe three qualities are especially important when selecting a life partner: Beauty, Brains, and Character, which I call the BBC formula. These represent physical attraction, intellectual compatibility, and personal values.
Beauty may create initial attraction, while intelligence encourages meaningful conversations and shared growth. Character, however, becomes particularly important when life presents difficulties. Throughout my relationship of over half a century, I have had plenty of cases to observe the relationships around me and learn life lessons from other couples. This process has helped me build my own beliefs about marriage. I presume that not everyone will approve of my views, and that is totally acceptable since marriage is a personal experience, and it is up to everyone to decide what is right for them. Of course, nobody’s perfect. The objective is not to find an ideal partner but to find somebody whose positive and negative features, values, and expectations correspond to yours.
Do You Really Need to Have a Traditional Wedding?
I respect Hinduism very much; that is why I think that religious vows should be made in a sincere way. Some couples are happy exchanging traditional promises, while others might want to have a simpler civil marriage. It should be noted that people should not make their decisions only because of what others think.
A court marriage provides legal recognition without requiring an elaborate ceremony. Couples who prefer a traditional celebration can still incorporate religious customs into their wedding. The important thing is that their decisions reflect genuine conviction rather than obligation.
Families could also consider celebrating a couple’s first anniversary or another meaningful milestone instead of spending excessively at the outset.
When Should People Get Married?
College can be a place to meet a future partner, but students must balance relationships with education and personal development. For some, dating after securing a full-time job may provide greater emotional and financial stability.
Early marriage can be challenging when individuals are not ready to accept responsibility. At the same time, delaying marriage should be a personal choice rather than a decision driven by fear. There is no universal age at which everyone becomes ready.
Marriage, Companionship, and Personal Freedom
Marriage provides one with love, intimacy, support, and partnership. But although supportive marriages may enable people to cope with difficult moments in life, marriage does not automatically lead to health or happiness.
On the contrary, some choose a single life in favor of independence or simply a different way of living. Their decision is equally justified. It is important to understand that having an approved marriage or a wonderful ceremony is not enough to have a successful relationship. The most important thing is that two people want to lead their lives together.
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